3 Powerful Relationship Habits from Effective Couples
Caution: Quite lengthy.
I may not be in the right position to talk about happily-ever-afters, but the fact of having my own failed relationships does not negate the truth of the words I want to share. Basically, none of us are “qualified” to share, because it is only God that says we are. I’m willing to speak and share, so that those who have gone through and/or going through the same would feel that they are not alone, and could somehow help in carrying their cross.
Oftentimes, women in general, get caught up in the tales of love, that makes it hard for them to deal with reality. For both men and women, we should know that a connection with someone isn’t a trivial thing like we usually see on soap operas or movies. If we refuse to recognize it as something deeper beyond what happens in the bedroom, or what is shared on social networks, we’ll keep missing the point of being together.
So stop looking for the perfect relationship. Stop looking for The One. “The One” concept is actually a lie, because there is no such thing as that. You make the choice to make that special person in your life to be “The One”. You choose to make yourself be “The One” you want your partner to spend the rest of his/her life with.
I have friends who say they’re bored in their relationship/marriage after three or four years of being together and they don’t feel that certain spark anymore. They feel that the magic isn’t worth re-igniting either, but let me tell you this, a relationship without work is definitely boring. I would probably feel the same way if my partner and I have the same routine every day, such as:
* Wake up
* Talk a little
* Go to work
* Home from work
* Talk a little
* Sleep
…do it again, and again, and again. Wouldn’t you feel, bleh? :-/
3. SMALL THINGS ARE BIG THINGS
I mean, no matter how long you have been together, isn’t it better if you put an “us time” in between? Make it a priority that at least once a week you spend quality time together. Make it twice, if you can. It doesn’t have to be in an expensive restaurant or a quick getaway. You can just stay in and prep your breakfast/lunch/dinner together, watch a movie and adore each other. Yes, gaze into each others eyes and reconnect. Or you can start a project together like building a tree house or join a weekly marathon. Refresh your relationship as much as you both can. Do this and see how fast you realize how amazing it is to fall in love with the one you’re with over and over.
When your partner/spouse texts you, “I love you” in the middle of your busy day, what do you do? Do you ignore and decide to just respond when you’re “free”? Or you take a time out for couple of seconds and quickly reply, “I love you too, honey.” (How long does it take to type those words, anyway?) Now tell me, is it hard? You never know when your partner is having a rough time and a loving message from you is the only thing that could put the smile back on their face. Be proud of them and the life you share together. Nothing is more uplifting than hearing or seeing your partner is grateful by proclaiming you as their “heaven-sent” to the entire universe. Never mind the haters or those who say you’re way too cheesy. Nothing is ever too much for the people we truly love. Successful couples do simple and extraordinary expressions of love for each other.
To any sincere man/woman out there, the size of your bank account or the number of karats in an engagement ring is not the gauge of your eternal commitment to them. It is knowing that whatever happens, they are more than enough to be the one who is constant in your life, beyond anything this world could offer.
2. COMPROMISE WITH NO EXPECTATIONS
Sometimes the hard work in a relationship is highly unlikely to be divided into 50/50. A lot of times it is 75/25, seldom it is 35/65, and there are instances when it is only 100/0, and if you think that it should always be equal, you will definitely feel unsettled. While it may be uneven at times, both partners should always try to work at it whole heartedly. Because if you don’t share any effort in your relationship, it will surely fail, but please, don’t expect your other half to give more or less than you do, because you are two distinct individuals. Like in any other career, if you don’t have any passion for your dream job, it will be a waste of time. What do you do to gain that promotion you’ve been vying for? You come to work every day no matter how tired you may be, sometimes even when you’re sick; and then you get your salary as a reward of your labor, right? You may not get the promotion right away, but you will eventually have it in time. But you don’t allow your goal to work itself out. You keep working on it to keep it the same or nurture it by gaining new skills to take it to the next level. It’s the same with a fruitful relationship.
When the “puppy love” stage is over and rough spots begin to surface, uncertainties might start coming in. And I promise you, it’s not going to be easy; you’re not always going to have that surreal feeling, unless you acknowledge that love is not just an emotion but a choice.
1. PRAY TOGETHER
The phrase, “The family that prays together, stays together” wasn’t said without conviction. It is the same with “A couple that prays together, stays together”, especially in the midst of any undertaking. Make it a part of your daily habit to pray together every day. Set a common time where the two of you can devote at least five minutes of connection with God in between, and see how the blessings flow easily into your lives. Even when you’re having a bad day and you’re arguing, whoever is the humble one should ask the other to pray with them because you can’t say no to God. No matter how hard it may be, cry if you must while you’re praying with your partner, but never decline an invitation to pray if you want to live an abundant life. If you haven’t tried this, I urge you to give it a shot. Start by doing it for a week, and see how it slowly eases the way you handle life’s trials together.
Eventually, true love should transform both of you into selflessly devoting your time, energy, and life to each other. It is certainly a privilege to be chosen as someone’s companion for the rest of their life, so make it a sensational journey. It’s a gift to your partner, to yourself, and to God, as a testimony of your faith that others may be inspired by it.
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