Unfaithfully Yours - Realistic Reasons Why Women Cheat
It is common knowledge that men can be happy in their current relationship—and stay in it—while cheat on the side to boost their ego and cave in to their sexual needs. Women, however, will leave the relationship once she no longer feels any satisfaction from it and regains total fulfillment from someone else. Now don’t go throwing dagger looks at your woman after reading this, as I hope this would serve as a precaution or lesson to those who wants to keep their relationship forever and ever (don’t we all?). This is my take on most of the realistic reasons why women cheat, in response to the recent post about “Unspoken Reasons Why Men Cheat”:
1 – Abusive Relationship
My co-worker Anne used to come to work with a bruised cheek, eye, or arm, every week. Whenever we ask her about it, she would cry and share that she and her husband and got into a fight over the meal that didn’t taste well or because he wanted her to quit her job, because he thinks she isn’t earning enough and just flirting around. We became worried about her and encouraged her to seek protection form her abusive husband, but she just told us that maybe it’s just a phase in their relationship. A few months later, I learned that she began having an affair with a co-worker she has grown close to because they’re both sharing their experiences of their unhappy marriage. When I asked her what was she getting out of it and if she plans to divorce her husband, she said that the affair has given her more confidence to fight for her happiness and herself. Even though she admitted that she wasn’t in love with the co-worker, she said he has helped her realize that there is hope for her with a better man.
2 – Low Self Esteem
From the day my friend Airam got married, she knew that it was a mistake. She shared with me how she caught her husband masturbating over porn the day after their wedding. She immediately felt unattractive and sick after she saw what he was doing, and the weird thing is that her husband was not affected that much over her reaction. Instead of stopping, he ran to the bathroom and finished the deed off and left the house to buy groceries. When he went back later, he apologized and told her it won’t happen again, but she did not feel any remorse coming from him. She also shared about how her man loves to compliment other women about their appearance or talent, yet all he does is criticize what she does wrong. Their relationship began to deteriorate a couple of months after and one day she told me that she’s having an affair with one of their common friends, but she had no intention of leaving her husband. She said that her friend makes her feel desirable, beautiful, and smart. I was not surprised anymore when I heard that she left her husband and married her friend after.
3 – Revenge
If you know the saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, then you better prepare for hell to freeze over the moment your woman doubts your fidelity. My close friend Elle was a very faithful wife and devoted mother to her two children. She makes it a point that everything is organized the moment her husband and their kids woke up to begin their day and made sure their home is a haven for relaxation once they get home from school and work. She also made sure that she composes herself enough for her husband to desire her even more. However, when she found out that he was having an affair with a younger woman, her perfect world fell apart. One day she decided to stop feeling sorry for herself and did a drastic makeover. She took her share in their savings, enrolled herself at the gym, went shopping and changed her entire wardrobe. Her husband was furious over her sudden splurge, but she did not care. Three months later, she looked a lot different, became more attractive and she also met someone at the gym. To make it short, they fell in love and she divorced her husband, no matter how he tried to win her back after she looked better.
4 – Connection
Making love has always been one of the ways a woman feels strongly connected and emotionally secure with her partner. Guys, whatever it is that your partner has done to annoy you (except for cheating), never ever make her feel unwanted. In other words, do not withhold intimacy from her if you don’t want her looking for it somewhere else. When a woman feels her partner no longer wants her sexually, she begins to question her self-worth as well and might do a reality check—but not with you. If you come home and you see your woman dressed in que that she wants sexy-time, provide her the pleasure of making her fantasy come true. You might even get an extra massage after.
5 – Loneliness
One time while my friends and I were chilling at a bar, we heard a lady from the table beside ours sharing about how the lack of passion in her relationship drove her into the arms of another; and she’s actually happy that she’s about to get out. She said how she was living with someone who’s too complacent and did not even bother doing something for the relationship to grow. She said she asked if they could play sports, go to the gym, have a date night once a week, but he declined everything she requested, because he said he is too tired from work. When her friend asked if it’s worth leaving the relationship for the new one she has in secrecy, she said yes. And her reason was simple: They have a lot in common and very much in love.
The reasons for infidelity differs greatly for both sexes, however let us always remember that in every action that we take, there will always be consequences. Anger can cloud one’s judgment and generally, we’ll most likely choose the easy way out. To those men who are in stable relationships, please remember that if you stop putting effort, complimenting your partner, and keeping the passion burning, then do not be surprised if she starts looking for it elsewhere. As a woman, I am not justifying the reasons for being unfaithful of my own kind. Cheating is not an accident and there is no excuse for it—it is a choice. I think it is still best to communicate the needs of each other and discuss it when you feel something is amiss in your relationship before it gets worse. I do this with my partner all the time and we open up when we feel something’s off as it puts our relationship on check. There is nothing wrong to make yourselves vulnerable with each other, because it is what makes it more special, that feeling you’re only yearning for each other. It is much more fulfilling to know that you are still the object of your partner’s desire regardless the differences you might have.
If you’re still thinking about cheating, re-think it, and save yourself and your relationship from more physical and emotional fits of rage by breaking up with your current partner before starting a new one.
I originally wrote this article (alias Rapunzel) as a contributing writer for Gentlemenhood.com.
